Practicing Manners with Special Needs Teens

The second week in May is National Etiquette Month and a good time to practice manners and mannerly behavior with your teens with special needs. Common courtesy can sometimes be difficult for teens with special needs as they do not “read” the cues others take for granted. But, with a little help, you can teach manners and etiquette to your students in an easy and fun way.

How to Practice Mannerly Greetings

Students with special needs sometimes have difficulty looking people in the eye or engaging in the intimacy of a handshake. For many, desensitization is the answer to accomplishing this common greeting. By making the handshake a game, and repeating it over and over, some students can learn to approximate the steps necessary for a proper introduction and learn to say “hello” and shake hands. Here’s how:

Before you begin, use the worksheet offered here to teach students how to greet and shake hands. The rubric on the second page provides a grading scale to measure success. Then:

1. Use sticky notes. Depending on your group’s level, either write down words or draw pictures of a group of similar objects. For example, you might use “fruits.” Individual sticky notes would say: “plum,” “grapes,” “kiwi,” “orange,” etc. Or, you may choose “animals” and put stickers of dogs, cows, monkeys, birds, etc., on the sticky notes.

2. Pass out notes without students seeing word/picture. Have students put the note on their forehead as close to the center of their eyebrows as possible.

3. Give clues. Each student will approach another student and give them one clue about the word or picture on their forehead. For example, if the fruit is a kiwi, the first person may say, “it’s a fruit,” the next may say, “It’s brown,” a third might say, “It’s fuzzy,” and so on. Students go from partner to partner and provide a clue to their word while receiving a clue for their own. This allows students to get close, look approximately towards the eyes, and speak. But, with the purpose of looking at the sticky note, it takes the awkwardness out of greeting and gives students a way to get close with purpose.

4. Exchange greetings. Once they’ve exchanged clues, students then say, “Hello, my name is ________.” And shake hands. Then they will move onto the next student.

5. Sit down. As each student guesses his word/picture he will sit down in his chair. When everyone is seated, the game is over.

6. Repeat. With students on the spectrum, or any other group who has difficulties with interpersonal interactions, you may want to repeat this game with different words until students become desensitized to the process.

For More on Manners

This lesson is from “Everyday Manners,” one of the workbooks available in the Daily Living Skills series. Other skills taught in this book include making introductions, leaving a telephone message, cell phone etiquette, flag etiquette, hat etiquette, bodily functions and noises, pedestrian etiquette, swearing, table manners and tipping.

Written on a 3rd/4th grade level and include grading sheets, answer keys and parent information letters to comply with federal standards for transition skills. The Teacher’s Manual (sold separately) provides information on program set-up and maintenance along with written ITP (Individual Transition Plan) goals for each book. If you like what you see, go look at our Teachers Pay Teachers site or our shop on our Transition2Life site.

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